Certainly Uncertain

Well it's been awhile. Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess I'll make it a goal to try to be a little better keeping up with this. 

Hmm where to begin, since a lot of life has passed. The holidays and everything of that nature when smoothly so I guess I'll just start with how things are going right now. Let's start with my shift Monday night. Well, it was one of the most overwhelming shifts I've had on the unit. It made me feel like an awful nurse at times because all of my patient's were very needy, and I felt like I couldn't spend enough time with each of them. Also, this removed the time I normally take to go to the bathroom or eat. So needless to say it was quite a busy night that kept me running (literally). I didn't get home until almost 9:30am, and finally got to bed around 10:15ish, with the plan of waking up around 3 or 3:30 this afternoon to try to get myself back to a somewhat normal person schedule. When my alarm went off at 3:30pm and I apparently shut it off, instead of hitting snooze, because the next thing I know, Chelsea is upstairs asking me if I am awake. I look down at my phone and it says 5:45pm. OH yea. So much for throwing myself back to a days schedule. And that's probably why I'm writing this at 3am. So much for my Tuesday, it officially was wasted. I did go see Beauty and the Beast in 3D tonight, so I guess I made the most of it.  Of course it was AWESOME. Still my favorite movie of all time. My three-year-old self would be very proud.  I'm also still in love with the library in the movie. To have that many books in a gorgeous library, I'd be in heaven, and would be totally ok with wasting my day in there. 

Also, I'd never thought i'd say this, but I actually miss waking up early in the morning and getting things done for the day. With working at night most of the time, I tend to be going to bed more often than waking up when it's 9am. I miss getting up and running in the morning. It definitely makes me grateful for the time I have on a normal schedule. Even though my "normal" isn't the same as most other people. But as for right now. I'm going to go try to "nap" or sleep or whatever for a little while, to throw myself back. Easier said than done, obviously. I'm always questioning how much coffee I'll need to get through the day - but I think there are worse problems than that. Being uncertain about the next day or week is normal and I feel like it something I have gotten quite used, especially in the last year or so. 

Uncertainly is a normal part of growing up, and now, after college, I find it all more common. Every year in school, you knew there would be a next one. Another year of classes and exams. Another year of sports. Another year of getting summer jobs until you graduate and get a real job. Now, in the "real" world, I find that there is uncertainty with the other aspects of life that never even crossed my mind during undergrad. First, there was the uncertainty of passing boards and getting a job. Now, i find there is uncertainty in grad school decision, and in situations that I could have never foreseen happening a year, or even six months ago. The questioning and contemplating of decisions made is one that we may never get true sign saying "yes, you made the right one."  But even in all of life's challenges, big or small, we have the certainty of God and His love for us. He is always there, holding us closely to Him, never leaving, no matter how many twists and turns the road may have.. He is there to guide us, to love us. We can trust him always (even though that is easier said that done sometimes). I think that over the last few months, I have found that the certainty in God and His plan is one of greatest comforts when life has gotten overwhelming. I know that through my faith, it has pulled me closer to those I love as life continues. And I know that though I may not be sure how everything is going to pan out, God will be with me through it all. 

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful snowy day (since winter finally decided to get here). Drive safe on those lovely Michigan roads and have a big cup of coffee in the MORNING for me - since I'll be sleeping :)